Tuesday, August 22nd 2017

If monogamy implies possession, how would you possess your Self?


Straddling the masculine and the feminine, sexually and spiritually speaking

Second in a two-part series by SMADAR DE LANGE — Many spiritual traditions, such as Kaśmir Śaivism, Hinduism, Sufism, and Judaism celebrate the union of two “separate” bodies as a sacred act that creates the deep experience of “oneness.”

But when we talk about “the juicy stuff,” the age old question is inevitable:  “What do women want?”

Although a general question, the answer is simplistic and partial: women want to experience their true feminine nature. In other words, they want to be accomplished as feminine, and one with this femininity.

However, the theory remains that, in order to experience what is female, a woman needs the masculine counter-part. Through this union can come the feminine expression of oneness.

In our culture, most attraction between masculine and feminine is based on a psychological need and a culturally conditioned sense of incompleteness.

In order to avoid the weight of psychological “baggage” in a spiritual union, there are two main conditions. The first is to have no projections about the other; the second is to meet the other on a level which is not personal. These tasks, though near impossible, are attainable:

1. Try to have no preconceived idea, belief, concept, or previous limiting knowledge about the other.
2. Look into the other’s eyes (not necessarily during the act of love making).

princechIt may seem confusing to discuss the intimate act of love in combination with the words, “not personal.” And what is actually the meaning of meeting with the “other,” without psychological projections?

Although everything is “personal” because everything I perceive is through my own eyes, with conscious awareness it is possible to meet the “other” with an openness which allows for a freshness, new possibilities — and surprises.

The practice of meeting with the ultimate feminine, through merging with the ‘body’ of an other, does not necessarily have a personal (egoic) meaning.  With this practice, the dream of Prince Charming is shattered. After all, where there are no attachments or psychological issues, what is left of Prince Charming and the need for rescue?

This practice also does not imply a need for monogamy, which implies possession. Who are the two individuals who can commit fully to each other, while fulfilling this practice? For the true seeker, who is looking for the ultimate truth, where is the one lover that will be enough?

Each lover embodies the infinite. Each lover is a portal to the absolute merging.

Read the first article in this series: Mothering men.

smadarSmadar is a gifted intuitive and somatic therapist who has 14 years of training in transpersonal psychology and spiritual advancement. She is currently completing her doctoral degree in Clinical Psychology at Santa Barbara’s Pacifica Graduate Institute.

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One Comment on “If monogamy implies possession, how would you possess your Self?”

  1. I don't want to experience my true feminine nature...i'd rather experience my true nature as a human being.

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