Saturday, July 22nd 2017
Aug
2009
6

How to love and parent a “Dakota Fanning”

dakfanA mother of seven uses a method called, “show, remind and tell” to raise a child who is an ‘old soul’

GUEST COLUMN: DR. CHRISTINE JAX-CASTILLO — If you are a parent, you probably question if you are doing all that you can to ensure that your children find their own spiritual paths, and reach their full potential.  You wonder how you can help your children progress on their spiritual journeys, while encouraging them to follow your rules.

How can you can teach them right from wrong, while teaching them to see the good in all things?  How can you keep them safe, while relaying to them that fear is an illusion of the ego?

oldchildsoulsm1 Now people are claiming that their children are “indigo” children or “old soul” children, and you wonder . . . are yours?

Because of your spiritual evolution and path, it is most likely that all your children, born or adopted, are “old soul” children.  But remember, we are all special and all have a reason for being on this planet at this time: we are each here for individual spiritual growth and to inspire further growth in others, and, if you are a parent, you have agreed to juggle both.  In the case of rearing an “old soul” child, you have agreed to expedite their spiritual development for their benefit, as well as for the benefit of humanity, as the children who are traveling this path have agreed to do so.

Common traits of “old soul” children

  • Develop faster emotionally and intellectually than other children, yet may struggle in school due to constrictions on their creativity and critical thinking abilities
  • Understand and demand justice long before such development is typically seen in children
  • Demonstrate a global perspective and ask about people not like themselves
  • Articulate a sense of charity and service; they want to help others
  • Remember past lives
  • Question the authority of adults and leaders, and demand respect for themselves
  • Possess one or more “paranormal abilities:” ie. may see or communicate with non-physical beings such as angels, spirits, and ghosts; heal by touch; remember past lives; share mutual dreams with others; predict future events; sense when something is wrong; view remotely; experience astral projection
  • Have a deep interest in religion or spiritual practices
  • Communicate easily and actively with their guides, even if they have yet to identify what gives them knowledge about things

How to be a model parent for an “old soul” child

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To raise an “old soul” child you need to model (show proper behavior), induct (bring out of the child what he or she already knows), and instruct (provide new information).  I refer to this as “show, remind, tell.”

Show your children how to be good citizens and stewards of the earth, and be mindful that they are going to emulate much of your behavior.  Also keep in mind that they will quickly recognize hypocrisy and just as quickly lose respect for you.   Do your best to walk your talk. This means not using physical force, coercion, insults or shaming to get what you want, including proper behavior, from your child.

I always tell people, “If you wouldn’t do or say something to or in front of your boss, don’t do or say it to or in front of your children.”

You can model empathy by speaking your thoughts out loud: “I guess I should pick-up this box I dropped.  It wouldn’t be nice to leave more work for the grocer.”  Show grace in how you admit mistakes and don’t blame others.  Find the good in all situations and in all people. When you are struggling with something someone has done, talk out loud to your child about how you are trying to understand their decisions without judging them.

Remember to teach love to all children

Remind your children of who they are and where they come from.  Let them know everything is made out of the same energy, love, which makes all people equal and everything worthy of care and respect.  Remind them that happiness is our right, and that it is found only in the moment because the past and present do not concurrently exist.

Help them remember that preparation for the next moment takes knowledge, good work, honesty, and faith; they will see whatever they believe and expect.  Discuss with them how forgiveness is essential for personal growth and happiness; peace can only exist if there is forgiveness. It may help to develop meditative and spiritual practices with them as part of your lifestyle.

Tell them every day that you love them, and tell them regularly that you are proud of them and amazed by them.   Let them develop with you the household rules and the consequences for breaking those rules.  Make sure they understand why there are rules, and be consistent and calm when you enforce those rules and enact punishment.  Give them opportunities to care for other people and to care for the earth.   Tell your children to follow their dreams, and then give them space and advice for how to do so.  Allow them to fulfill their dreams for themselves, not your dreams for them.

Introduce your children to many different spiritual practices, including yours, but let them choose what is comfortable for them.  Let them experience chanting, drumming, walking a labyrinth, sitting silently with incense — experiment.  Point out to your children all that you have learned from other people and how much is achieved when people work together.  Explain that there are multiple perspectives of, and reactions to, any situation.

Create a life for yourself beyond parenting so you can allow and encourage your child to grow beyond you, your beliefs, and your needs, but always, always be your child’s biggest fan.

christineDr. Christine Jax-Castillo has a B.A. in Child Psychology, and a Ph.D. in Education.  She is an author and international spiritual coach, consultant and speaker. She and her husband have seven children, ages 7 – 25, and they reside in West Palm Beach, Florida.

(Angel photo by Cyndi Ingle.)


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6 Comments on “How to love and parent a “Dakota Fanning””

  1. Excellent info, thank you! My son seems so far beyond his years sometimes, it's uncanny! I do try to get him to meditate with me, and while it was novel at first after he saw Splinter on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles doing it, it soon faded. I then tried to motivate him to meditate with me by telling him to picture everything he wanted to help it manifest, and it worked for a while, but I'm giving him space now about it. It's great to see I'm not the only one trying to get their kid to meditate! lol So thanks again!

  2. Great article...I am raising an old soul child. I was told long ago that she is an indigo child, and it is sometimes really hard to live with as her intelligence level is far above even me sometimes. I really have to keep my wits about me when arguing with her, it's hard sometimes as she always has an answer for everything and the answer is either always right or her reason for not doing something or doing it is so profound I am often speechless.

    Ever since she could walk and talk she is the most independant child I have come across. If something happened to me today she would easily survive, she is like a little adult already and only 9 but has always been this way.

  3. Great article about raising a sensitive child, i.e. an awake indigo. Although more and more children are being born awake, they are not limited to children. There are many "Indigo" adults who have struggled being the forerunners of a new consciousness emerging. There are many who are still trying to understand why they are such misfits and so sensitive. Now, it is a lighter time where we can even begin discussing this without being persecuted and the children today can get proper support and understanding! This is a sign of shifting consciousness on the planet. I write all about this in my blog as I am an adult Indigo who walked through the fires making my way back to the light here on earth!

  4. For those who want to join a support group, or want more info about old soul and indigo children, there is a group on facebook you might want to check out.

    http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2209174398&ref=mf

    The group has a very complete description of the behaviours that old child or "indigo" children manifest.

  5. There is no hierarchy of souls.

  6. There may not be a hierarchy of souls, certainly not in a judgmental sense. But there does seem to be much evidence that there are souls that have been through more "incarnations". I have met a number of people who seem to have "hit the ground running" as far as being spiritually aware very early. The Dalai Lama would be one.

    My experience is that this helps in understanding others without judgment. I think: "Some people are younger souls. They have yet to learn what others have learned. It's all part of the evolution of consciousness."

    David

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