Byron Katie goes all Zen in her second book, I Need Your Love — is that True?, published in 2005. Her approach to relationships is to get the reader to break down the sandcastle of his or her own thoughts. Thoughts are something that you create, not something that make you who you are–or at least that’s Katie’s creed. To end suffering, she invites us to out the highly arbitrary source of negative thoughts. No where is it more essential than between intimate partners.
Katie channels Hamlet with her “It is neither good nor bad, but thinking makes it so” approach to relationships. Think that you need someone? Then you will.
The solution proffered in the book is based on a set of four ego-eviscerating questions, starting with: “Is that thought I have about my relationship actually true?” And then: “Who or what would I be without the thought?” It’s a great technique for un-spooling loops of self-limiting thought patterns. Powerful stuff.
Best of all, it’s easy to apply. Katie, writing with help from her agent Michael Katz, doesn’t beat the reader over the head with heavy psychoanalytic tropes.
This book can really speak to someone whose loved-one has become clingy or over-bearing. The need for approval from a partner can become an energy drain that flushes the entire relationship down the drain. This book is a tailor-made prescription for turning such a situation around 180 degrees, and re-establishing a constructive connection.
Consider getting it for someone you want to become closer with: I Need Your Love – Is That True?
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