Sunday, June 25th 2017
Dec
2007
24

DEALING WITH LOSS: Step 6

How to Take a Leap of Faith

After the immediate shock of death or a life-loss, expressing your emotions and sharing your story of the loss helps to discharge some of the trauma. But if you cling to the story of that loss for years, the narrative itself has become a self-reinforcing source of trauma. You’ve used the story to form a pain identity.

Eckhart Tolle‘s rare lecture, Living the Liberated Life and Dealing with the Pain Body, is both a brilliant exposition on this phenomenon — and an induction into an meditative and expansive state. It’s encapsulated in his great line about loss: “The winds of grace blow through that hole.”

Tolle at his best:

Loss is very painful, because any kind of loss leaves a hole in the fabric of one’s existence. A person dies, or something you had identified with completely is gone. Your home goes up in flames. There is extreme pain at first. But whenever a form dissolves, which is called “death,” what remains is an opening into emptiness.

Where the form once was, there’s a hole into emptiness. And if it’s not resisted, if you don’t turn away from it you’ll find that the formless—you could say God—shines through that hole where there was a form that died.

Often people come to me because they are in great pain, because of some recent or imminent loss. They may be faced with death. They may have just lost a loved one, or lost their position. It’s often at that point that life becomes too unbearable, and then there is “seeking,” “spiritual seeking.” So I point out that if you surrender into the loss, see what comes through that hole. It’s the winds of grace that blow through that hole.

Step 7:Why People Can’t Get Over a Lost Love


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