Sunday, June 25th 2017
Jul
2009
10

An incest survivor’s six steps to triumph over adversity

Phyllis King is no victim; she experienced abuse, yet found a way to re-frame negative experiences

redchairscode1GUEST COLUMN: PHYLLIS KING — As an incest survivor, I have learned a lot about control and abuse of power.

My life reads like a struggle for survival.  My challenges have included loneliness, betrayal, and rejection by many whom I held most dear.  As I journeyed through these events, I developed strength, courage and love.

With courage, I faced my fears, with strength I remained true to myself, and with love I experienced renewal.

The person who abused me, and those who allowed it to continue, were strangled by fear.  Despite the injuries I experienced at their hands, and the way those injuries ultimately altered my life and personality, I healed. And as I healed, I became unable to hate these people.

How is it I don’t hate these people?  Moreover why do I send them love?

I came to learn that all experiences contribute to the totality of the spirit and to consciousness.  It is I who makes the difference in how experiences shape my life.  No person or event has the power to choose how I create my life. No injury can prevent me from realizing my potential.  The only one who can prevent me from realizing my potential is myself.

Turn your back on identifying as a victim

adsinwindowsmallI have met many people who define their lives with a victim mentality.  As I have come to learn, you cannot create prosperity from a victim position. The lie “they did it to me” is really masking a fear that asks, “Am I valid?  Do I matter? Can I believe in myself?” And it is this fear that makes the victim believe the lie is true.

In childhood I was blessed to know there was more to life than the tangible. I held on to that knowledge. When no one else would tell me I mattered, somehow I still knew I did, and that one day my value would be reflected back to me.

Through my trials and tribulations, I listened to my inner voice, my conscience, and my connection to Source. Most often it was the noise of life that contributed to my errors in judgment. I learned how to center myself and tell the difference between a truth and a lie. Our bodies are truth detectors; if we will listen they practically hum when truth is spoken, and we feel peaceful when truth is present.

To create a free flowing relationship with Source, we must abandon concepts of good, bad, better, worse. The relationships and circumstances we experience must be viewed with gratitude. We must practice the art of “re-framing.” In other words, we frame each experience in a way that may garner a positive position about our circumstance.   In truth it is an energy game: if we judge energy, we create filters through which we receive.

Find your strength, and self, in adversity

You may be asking, “How can incest be positive?”  Incest, as a stand alone act, is not positive. I have chosen to frame my reactions to it in a way that has caused  me to become a stronger person owing to the experience.  My choice has been to remain open rather than closed. I chose to believe in self, rather than disbelieve; I chose to believe there is more to life than the physical.

As my consciousness expanded, my heart expanded, and I came to know that only those in pain hurt others. But further, I learned that if I could contribute to the healing of any other being, I am doing a service to myself.

As I have become accomplished at re-framing, the joy in my life has increased exponentially.  I feel connected to a life purpose and am fulfilling my potential.

My formula for personal success in six steps

bluesunsetsmallest1. Belief in self. You matter.  Your unique opinion and ideas are vital to our planet.  You have a contribution to make that no one else can.

2. Listen to self. Turn down the noise of life to hear your guidance, your truth and the insights that come through the grace of synchronicity.  Honor and protect the truth — It is a gift to the spirit in the physical body.   It is the key to your relationship with Source and to fulfilling your life’s purpose.

3. Embrace forgiveness — Keep your energy clean and open. Release painful experiences.  Clear the way for yourself and those who have injured you to find the light in their own lives.

4. Abandon a judgment mentality — Re-frame experiences to maintain a position of gratitude. Judgments impede our ability to give and to receive.

5. Spread love and generosity of spirit without pause. The ability to send loving vibrations out at all times is a gift to you, and to the planet.

6. Enjoy your life — Life is work and challenge, but is also to be treasured and enjoyed. This is the ultimate act of appreciation to Source for your life.

phyllismallPhyllis King is a spiritual teacher, who is known as the “Common Sense Psychic.”  Her latest book is A Psychic Perspective, 10 Steps to More Love, Wealth and Personal Happiness.

(Top three photos by Cyndi Ingle).


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3 Comments on “An incest survivor’s six steps to triumph over adversity”

  1. This is very moving. Accepting responsibility for experiences that shape your life is difficult to do and gives you a whole new perspective.

  2. For me, the greatest coping tool is Present-Moment Focus, complete attention focused into the Now. The more intense the adversity, the more intense the focus. I have used this approach successfully myself and have taught it to hundreds of people in mental health.

  3. Phyllis King is a true inspiration. She reminds me of Louise Hay and her well-known "You Can Heal Your Life" approach. We need to admit there are many people out there who have lived through various traumatic experiences but cannot deal with the pain or come to terms with the quality of their life. When I read something as powerful as this, it speaks to the power of the spirit. Phyllis King has chosen a positive path in order to get on with her life, to put the past behind her and to develop and maintain her strengh through such an arduous ordeal. My hope is that more people hear of her and find their own unique strength to move forward in their lives. Finding personal happiness will be the only way to move past the emotional and mental injuries and will add years of positivity to make life so worthwhile.

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